Marriage counselor Gary Chapman says that every individual has a primary “love language.”  We have to learn to speak that language if we want that person to feel loved.  You can talk all you want, but until you master the correct expression there’s a good chance your spouse won’t even hear your professions of undying devotion.  According to Dr. Chapman, there are five basic love languages:

1)      Words of Affirmation.  Some people thrive on being verbally recognized and acknowledged If your spouse falls into this category, realize that he or she craves your words of spoken praise and appreciation.   

2)      Acts of Service.  The old saying “Actions speak louder than words” is especially true for certain individuals, andparticularly in the realm of marital love.  If that’s your mate, you’ll be amazed at what an impression you can make simply by taking out the trash.    

3)      Receiving Gifts.  There are other folks who attach a great deal of significance to receiving gifts.  It doesn’t have to be an expensive or elaborate gift.  Just the thought is enough to make this type of person feel deeply loved and cherished.      

4)      Quality Time.  Still other husbands and wives value the gift of time more than anything else.  The “quality” of time is particularly important.  Give this person your undivided attention if you really want them to know how much you care.        

5)      Physical Touch.  Finally, skin on skin contact is highly important to some individuals.  If physical affection is your spouse’s primary love language, nothing will communicate your love more clearly than a simple touch or kiss.

Do you want to help your spouse grow and flourish?  Then learn their love language and start to use it.  You’ll be surprised what a difference it will make!



The 5 Love Languages® profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment.